Welcome to the
Anti-Occult Cult.

"But sometimes we practice the occult too."

Helping you navigate the world of Spiritual MLMs, 400-year-old entities named Greg, and pyramid schemes with excessive incense.

🛑 RED ALERT

Are you considering joining a group that meets in a basement or uses a "secret alphabet"? You might be entering a high-cost spiritual void.

"In the occult, the only thing truly 'occulted' (hidden) is the leader's tax returns."
— The Void-Fillers Manifesto

The Cult-Checker

⚠️ The "Greg" Factor

Does the leader claim to be a 400-year-old entity inhabiting a human shell?

⚠️ Aura Hygiene

Do you spend more time "cleansing your energy" than you do actually showering?

⚠️ Comic Sans

Does the "Ancient Secret Text" look like it was printed at a Kinko's in 1998?

Mysticism vs. Reality

The "Mystical" Pitch The Cold, Hard Truth
Manifesting Your Reality Daydreaming while your bills go unpaid.
Astral Projection Taking a very aggressive nap.
Tarot Readings Paying $80 to hear a stranger guess your daddy issues.
Blood Pacts A great way to get an infection and lose your deposit.

Take The Pledge

Join the Skeptics Circle. We have cookies, we don't demand your social security number, and our only "ritual" is arguing about sci-fi movies.

I'm Done With The Nonsense